A bookworm with an autoimmune condition, pushing pencils instead of pushups. Too weak to stand straight, let alone run a mile—even with "normal" gym and dance classes. 


How could someone go from writing pseudofantasy memoir novels and postmodern academic theses, to a 225-lb deadlift, a black belt in taekwondo, and their own fitness and nutrition coaching business?



The real-life magic of food, physics, and not taking "NO" for an answer. 

That means trying every "diet" with a hashtag, sweating through five-minute workouts to make time for movement during day jobs, slogging through "Will it ever get better?" crises of injuries, and struggling on an apartment floor only slightly wider than a yoga mat.


And that's why I blend my experience as a National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM) Certified Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach with advanced degrees in the humanities, to help you achieve your best self through tissue healing, pain reduction, mobility and flexibility practice, athletic training, martial arts, dance, and safe, effective weightlifting. (I'm also certified in Food Safety; no germs here!)

You don't have to be born with supernatural powers to change your life on a supernatural level. I'm proof of it, and so will you be.




  • Adult CPR/AED Certified

  • WTF Taekwondo Black Belt, 1st Dan

  • National Academy of Sports Medicine (NASM) Certified Personal Trainer

  • NASM Certified Nutrition Coach

  • NASM Certified Corrective Exercise Specialist

  • NASM Certified Women’s Fitness Specialist

  • NASM Certified Mixed Martial Arts Conditioning Specialist

  • Trigger Point Performance Therapy™ Certified

  • Animal Flow™ Certified Instructor

  • Certified Usui Reiki Practitioner

  • Author of indie hit, The Miracle on 98th Street.